Early Morning........

         If you weren't up early this morning, this is part of the show that you missed, it was quite lovely.   Early mornings are my favorite part of the day because they belong to just me.  I can go out in the garage, where my quilling supplies are, and step into a cozy, separate other world where no one disturbs me.  No tv blaring, no one demanding something from me, or asking me to do something for them; it gives me time to refresh and revive before anyone else gets up. 
         I sometimes hate being myself, I sometimes feel like salt water taffy, being pulled in half a dozen directions simultaneously.  I hate feeling like the only one that gets anything done, I hate being the motivating force for everything....if I'm not right on top of things, nothing gets done.  Is it that no one wants the responsibility?  Is it that they're just too damn lazy to get up and do for themselves?  Is it that I have made them dependent upon me and now the bill has come due?  I have done that, somewhere back in the past, I guess it seemed to be a good idea.  Now that it's that way all the time, I am hating the whole concept. I'm older and more tired, and feel so much like something is missing from my life.  I think my quilling is about the only thing these days keeping me anchored.  Have you seen it?

        It gives me such pleasure and I'm so glad that years back I made the decision to walk down this path.  I know somewhere out there is a niche for me, all I need to do is find someone that loves it as much as me. 

          Well, as  I am often aught to say,  either get busy livin', or get busy dyin'.  Our lives are what we make them, so only I can change what goes on with me.  Time to start saying no once in a while.  I can't be everything, I can just be me.