What

       I cannot forgive myself for wrongs I have committed, so how do I think I can tell anyone else they should forgive. 
        I cannot forget wrongs I have done, so again, how can I tell anyone else to do that very thing.
        Is it an emotional shortcoming on my part?  Some mechanism not properly inserted?  More like a lesson still unlearned on my part, a part not nurtured properly for reasons long forgotten.
        Perhaps I saw that inability as a vulnerability; many of us developed coping skills as children to deal with situations we had no way to understand.  People used us a whipping posts, both literally and figuratively, so we had to create a place where the real world couldn't touch us. 
         I could blame it on my parents, they are no longer here to defend the truth of that reflection, but that would be less than candid of me.
         I could take responsibility for it, now there's a concept, and accept that I did hurt people, some knowingly, some not.   I wish I could personally apologize to everyone I have ever hurt, but that's not possible.  Nor am I able to 'fix' all the wrongs I have done.  As for those that have wronged me, I guess that is their cross to bear.
       Having said all of this, I can only humble myself before all concerned and ask for your understanding and compassion.  I stand before you, contrite; yet exposed to the emotions that bombard my senses.  They flood my field of vision, surrounding me as if standing beneath a waterfall.
       I don't know where to go with this....I feel....I feel....I feel...........