Temptation

I fought temptation a few days ago and won that particular round, but it was difficult.  We, like probably most folks, are having some tight money problems.  I mentioned it to a dear friend of mine and her reply was, "how can I help?"  My brain ripped into overdrive thinking, ahhhh, a solution, albeit temporary, but somehow, I managed to grind my heel down and stop that immediately.  I realize how often I've allowed outside sources to solve my problems for me; and it wasn't a pretty realization. I refused the help kindly as possible, because I love my friend and did NOT want to take advanatage of her.  There are a lot of folks out there I can't say the same about, sadly.

 I haven't worked for almost a year now, I get unemployment and I've managed to keep my part of the bills under control, but most of the burden has fallen on my partner of 30 years and the weight of it is becoming excessive.  I have just about used up my allotment of procrastination for a lifetime, same with excuses, whines and stubborness. 

One of the things that make it even worse is that I have a wonderful talent, anyone that follows these blogs knows that I quill.  I love doing it, but have yet to get up off my duff and go out and promote it.  I have a zillion reasons why I don't; ie, the economy, the weather, something else comes up.  Yadda, yadda, y'all get the drift, I'm sure. 

So I send my apologies, even though she doesn't know how close she came to being snared in my trap.  I have laid out my slothful nature for the world and will now be more vigilant of my shortfalls.  Love heals all wounds, sometimes quickly, sometimes not, but it does make you snap to attention.  You may not like what you see, but it doesn't change the fact that it exists.  Thank you my friend, you didn't know what transpired in my head at that moment, but now you do, and I hope it won't change our connection. 

With love and respect......