Beauty

     I'm pretty sure that this morning is the first time in my life I have ever awakened to snow outside my windows.  It is an incredibly beautiful sight, when I first looked out early this a.m. nothing had sullied the panorama I beheld.  White bedecked the trees and bushes along the tips, creating such a delight to my eyes.  No tire tracks or footprints, just a sea of crystalline beauty.

    

      The weather predictors told us this was coming.  I made sure we went to the store yesterday for whatever we might need.  As lovely as this is, I don't particularly want to be driving in it.  We don't have chains or snow tires, so we'll be staying in for a while today.  Good day to devote to chores that need our attention.  Good day for baking, or making a pot of soup.  Our wood stove will be busy today too, keeping us snug and comfy. 
     
       I try to wake each morning with a fresh and positive look on life, this view gave me a new reason to smile.  I wish it could be so for everyone, but I know that won't be the case for a myriad of reasons.  Hope springs eternal that some day each and everyone of us awakes with love in our hearts, a positive outlook and wishes that come true.

    

Quilling

Quilling, is, for me
a great opportunity
to let my mind run free
allow all 'stuff' to be.

Quilling is my time
a moment so sublime.
High hopes do climb
I can make this all rhyme!

Quilling fills my heart,
takes me worlds apart
creating is a start
of a beautiful art.

Quilling keeps me sane,
laziness is my bane.
Let flowers ease the pain,
and desire never wane.

Poetry & Trees

Joyce Kilmer. 1886–1918

Trees

I THINK that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree.
A tree whose hungry mouth is prest
Against the sweet earth's flowing breast;
A tree that looks at God all day,	5
And lifts her leafy arms to pray;
A tree that may in summer wear
A nest of robins in her hair;
Upon whose bosom snow has lain;
Who intimately lives with rain.	10
Poems are made by fools like me,
But only God can make a tree I wish I'd of written this, it has been one of my absolute favorites since childhood.  I'm 61 so that's quite a bit of time.  I live in the Northwest now, where seasons actually change and there are so many amazing sights to see.  Each season has it's own speciality, but Fall and Winter for me put on a display that boggles the mind.  Fall brings the color show, oranges, reds, golds and greens to delight one's eyes.  As the leaves drop to the ground, a carpet of color is spread across the landscape, delighting small children as they are tossed overhead into the gentle winds.  As you look up, the structure of the trees is visible, epitomizing strength and form that fills my heart with joy. This is one of my favorite trees, it is unique to the surrounding varieties of trees that stand guard over the Columbia River Gorge highway.  Up close the growth takes on a  lace-like appearance that isn't readily apparent from a distance.  Covered with leaves, it's the perfect place to seek shelter from the heat of summer and excellent for hide-and-seek!  I could spend hours there, were I a child again; my imagination leaps into overdrive just looking at the picture!  There are dragons to be slain and unicorns to shelter from the evils of the world.  Perhaps part of me has never grown up and this tree, as Kilmer' poem, inspire that curious and imaginative little person to peek out between the branches.  I am thankful that part of me still exists, she occasionally gets lost in the responsibilities of life; when one forgets what is important.  Life, family, friends and a secret place to hide when there seems no where else to turn.  Live well, laugh often.........

A Better Place

      This makes me think of Heaven, that last look at earth before we step out of our bodies and go to wherever one goes.  I use the term heaven for lack of a better one, I want it to be a beautiful place that frees us from the stress and rat race mentality that locks us to this planet.  I want it to be a place where no unkind words are spoken, where abuse does not exist.  If it's not, well, what's the purpose of all this madness, anyway, where money is our God and people treat one another as steps to use to get what 'they' want.  Not everyone, certainly, but if there's even just one, isn't that one too many?    I have to stop and take a look at my own life and ask, am I that one?  As I age, I learn the true meaning of life, as least in my world, is to be blessed enough to surround yourself with friends and family that love you.  This goodness is worth more than all the gold and silver in the universe.  Friends and family will get you through all the tough times.  They alleviate the need to constantly 'prove' your worth, for to them you are worthy of everything, as they are to you. 

     I call these cloud feathers, they appear in our skies above the starkness of the tree silouettes that await spring and new growth.  We must not wait ourselves, each and every day is an opportunity to grow and change, let us not waste that gift.  Let love be the opportunity taken that propels our hearts and minds towards kindness, compassion and acceptance for everyone; wouldn't the world be a better place?  I know mine would.......
     

It went WHERE?

Where oh where has my libido gone?
Oh where, oh where, can it be?
With it's desire cut short and
it's stimuli cut long,
Oh where, oh where can it be?

Sung to the tune of,  "oh where oh where, has my little dog gone",  these days it might as well be a dog.  It wandered off about the time menopause wandered in, and hasn't bothered to find it's way home since that time.  I wonder how many women this is true for, or if subconciously it became a convienent excuse for me.  I pretty much lost interest, on so many levels, and for so many reasons.  I won't bore you with the details, it's pretty much a hum drum kind of tale, but I realize it's like a lot of things in my life; once I stop devoting any time or effort to the 'cause', whatever it may be, it just strays out of the yard in my mind.  It worked that way with alcohol, although I come from a family of alcoholics.  It worked that way with drugs also for me and I never realized how blessed I am in that respect. 

The only condition it hasn't worked out that way for me is eating.  Eating for me, is like the queen mother of desires.  When I'm full I'm a happy camper, no matter what else is going on around me.  I'm trying to get an idea in my head of how much time I spend each day thinking about food.  I only sleep about four or five hours a night, so that leaves me with about twenty hours of food fixation.  Wow, that's a lot of devotion, albeit, not a good one.  I guess it goes without saying I've been overweight most of my life.  Perhaps a round of psychiatric counseling would unearth whatever triggers all this food contemplation of mine, or maybe I could figure it out by myself, if I took the time.  However, I think I'll go make myself a peanut butter sandwhich and think about it!

My friend is home...

My friend is home, my heart doth soar,
I missed her so very much.
She lifts my spirits, and so much more
She's here for me each day.

My friend is home, I am so glad.
We're miles apart, it's true,
That matters not when friendship is,
An honor among so few.

My friend is home, my smile beams bright;
Although, my skill as a poet is iffy!
It's meant with love and humor light,
I felt inspired to write something!

My friend is home, my heart doth soar,
I missed her so very much.
She lifts my spirits, and so much more
She's here for me each day.

Temptation

I fought temptation a few days ago and won that particular round, but it was difficult.  We, like probably most folks, are having some tight money problems.  I mentioned it to a dear friend of mine and her reply was, "how can I help?"  My brain ripped into overdrive thinking, ahhhh, a solution, albeit temporary, but somehow, I managed to grind my heel down and stop that immediately.  I realize how often I've allowed outside sources to solve my problems for me; and it wasn't a pretty realization. I refused the help kindly as possible, because I love my friend and did NOT want to take advanatage of her.  There are a lot of folks out there I can't say the same about, sadly.

 I haven't worked for almost a year now, I get unemployment and I've managed to keep my part of the bills under control, but most of the burden has fallen on my partner of 30 years and the weight of it is becoming excessive.  I have just about used up my allotment of procrastination for a lifetime, same with excuses, whines and stubborness. 

One of the things that make it even worse is that I have a wonderful talent, anyone that follows these blogs knows that I quill.  I love doing it, but have yet to get up off my duff and go out and promote it.  I have a zillion reasons why I don't; ie, the economy, the weather, something else comes up.  Yadda, yadda, y'all get the drift, I'm sure. 

So I send my apologies, even though she doesn't know how close she came to being snared in my trap.  I have laid out my slothful nature for the world and will now be more vigilant of my shortfalls.  Love heals all wounds, sometimes quickly, sometimes not, but it does make you snap to attention.  You may not like what you see, but it doesn't change the fact that it exists.  Thank you my friend, you didn't know what transpired in my head at that moment, but now you do, and I hope it won't change our connection. 

With love and respect......